Monthly Reset and Reflection with Nora and Eliott- July
Every month leaves some stories behind. July began with CarGuy driving for eight hours to New York. He entered my apartment, sat briefly for about five minutes, had one beer and his usual allergic reaction to something - I started to believe it’s NYC itself- looked around, and said:
“Maybe we should just start driving back. We can find a hotel halfway to Ohio.”
I knew he hated it here; to be fair, I might live in one of the worst neighborhoods in New York. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, but it's possibly one of the worst apartment buildings on Earth or even in the Universe. One day, I’ll share the emails I had to send to the management—you would literally cry; I sometimes do.
But before you start to feel sorry for me, inside that horrible building I created probably the cutest tiny studio apartment you have ever seen.
The walls are slowly filling with motivational quotes. Soft lights are now everywhere, and I just bought new rugs because it seems my happiness now depends on having long fur, cute pink rugs. Every small detail serves as a reminder that you can stand up to ignorant and incompetent management in your territory. Anyway, I’m already getting distracted. So, back to the topic.
Somewhere on the drive to Ohio we stopped at a hotel; I don’t remember where, but it’s where I first realized, walking Eliott, that I’m CRAVING a calm, green environment, and parks, and trees without the constant fucking noise. I was happy to see Eliott curiously sniffing around instead of just hearing me rushing him and nervously saying no, no, let that, “fúúúúúj”- that’s the Hungarian word you say when something is mega disgusting, and I have to say that a lot to my pup on our walkies as my neighborhood in New York is extremely noisy and dirty. Eli hates, I mean HATES the noise, but he would gladly help clean New York streets by eating all the waste he can find.
What I worried about far more was Lucy. Lucy’s CarGuy’s rescued Hungarian Vizsla, and I had absolutely no idea how Eliott would react to her.
Turned out that, as usual, I was worried for nothing. Eliott was a gentleman; I was so proud of him. Lucy, on the other hand, well, let’s just say she wasn’t immediately impressed. She growled, guarded every single toy she owned (she owns a lot), and she guarded CarGuy even more enthusiastically. She made her opinions very clear, but Eliott was amazing. I hope CarGuy won’t argue here, you know; it’s more than possible I’m biased when it comes to my furbaby, but he simply accepted that Lucy was the girlboss of the household, without any arguments or drama. He stole all the cat food tho.
At first, we both panicked a little about Lucy’s reaction. I don’t think I will ever forget the expression on her face when he first saw Eliott- she is undeniably Hungarian. We don’t hide our feelings when we Hungarians hate you; we hate you in the face without the overly polite American sugarcoating. CarGuy relaxed in about some hours, and ten days later, so did I.
I realized that what originally appeared as “Lucy is about to remove my dog’s head” was no longer that. It had transformed into a very intense, half-abusive, half-full-of-love: “Come play with me” kind of thing. Apparently there’s a stage in dog friendships where attempted murder and an invitation to play look almost identical.
If you are interested in the emotional part of my Ohio visit, I already wrote an article about it; it’s HERE. So now, let me just say that we visited so many places: bookstores, antique stores, museums, a concert, gardens such as the Hungarian garden, restaurants, breathtakingly beautiful buildings, the zoo, the farmer’s market, and Playhouse Square. It was especially touching because, earlier, we had watched on YouTube how Cleveland residents united to save the theaters after their long closure. I loved seeing The Lion King, and I bought a hoodie with adorable lion ears on it. The 4th of July is Ellise’s birthday, and I was so afraid of that day that I still can’t fully process the grief. We bid farewell to my dreams and hopes connected to Ellise through a meaningful ritual, which you can read about HERE.
Sadly, my visit came to an end, and after 10 days filled with tranquility, lush greenery, rabbits, deer, squirrels in the garden, trips to the lake, my first baseball game-well, not mine personally, obviously, lol- but CarGuy’s son’s game, restful sleep, and a normal daily schedule, we drove back home. I was a bit worried about returning to New York, but it went smoothly; I was back to my one-leaf-of-salad-and-multiple-coffees diet and my two hours of sleep-per-night lonely-wolf obsessed researcher routine in the blink of an eye. It turned out that a ten-day trial is just not enough to change a lifestyle, a life, and a person, unfortunately.
Back in New York, I realized that I really missed my friends, and what is even better, they really missed me; it melted my heart, as I’m still struggling to believe that I’m lovable sometimes. Another long-term gift from the psycho ex.
I went to a street festival with my friend, only to realize it was the day before, so we changed plans and headed to the American Museum of Natural History, which was, of course, closed. We then decided the universe was sending us a message, so we chose to get ice cream instead. My scoop lasted about three seconds before it tipped over and spilled all over my shirt. Naturally.
So, as always, we ended up doing what we somehow always end up doing: wandering through Central Park and eating; that seems to be our natural habitat anyway.
The next day, I met up with the vegan girls for trivia night. I still absolutely suck at trivia, but who cares when the venue is vegan? (Well... vegan-ish. They sometimes use honey, so they’re exactly as vegan as I am.) If you’re in New York, you should absolutely check them out: BeePublic in DUMBO.
I also went to an NLP masterclass. I wish I had something exciting to report, but it was painfully boring. Luckily, the evening redeemed itself. I had dinner with one of my feminist friends, who is brilliant, and we exchanged books like the nerds we proudly are.
I saw Every Brilliant Thing; I loved it, maybe because I’m exactly the same kind of person. I make lists about everything. Every. Single. Thing. (Seriously. I probably have a list about my lists.) So I finally bought my 6474849465748393rd Broadway hoodie and then did what I almost always do after seeing a show: I sat in Bryant Park, still processing it all. It remains my favorite place in New York.
The next morning I had a call with my friend from Boston, an incredible watercolor artist. On October 8th we’re hosting a multidisciplinary workshop together here in New York: a nervous system reset for overwhelmed New Yorkers. I’ll guide the somatic writing exercises, she’ll lead the watercolor session, and together we’re creating something we both wish had existed when we needed it most.
Do you remember the story I told you about meeting my Hungarian neighbor in Prospect Park? Back home, she lived just above me in the same building. One day, she simply disappeared, and I never heard from her again. Years- more like a decade passed without seeing her, then somehow, out of all the cities in the world, we found each other again in New York. We’re actually friends now. So something similar happened with this watercolor artist, another completely crazy coincidence.
Years ago in Hungary, we were randomly assigned as accountability partners in an entrepreneurship course. We collaborated for some time, but then life intervened, and we lost contact. This year, she stumbled across my Substack, we realized we both live in the States now, we started talking again, and discovered we had far more in common than we had ever realized back when our conversations revolved around business goals and weekly check-ins.
Now, what started as an accidental partnership has developed into a genuine friendship, and the first outcome of this renewed connection will be ready for you this October in New York.
Stay tuned. More details are coming soon. I’m unbelievably excited that I’ll finally get to meet some of you in real life, so I hope you will join us guys!
Carguy had to spend a few days in New Jersey for work, so Eliott and I tagged along. I love that hotel; every time we’re there, it tricks me into realizing that it’s summer and I finally let myself switch off for a little while. I swam every day, and Eliott and I took long walks along the beach.
I also took him to the dog beach at Asbury Park; we were there for about 17 seconds because he vocalized his displeasure with the situation. He complained that it was too hot, the sand was touching his paws, a dog barked, that was unacceptable, the waves were moving, and he questioned why the wind was making that scary sound, so we left. Five minutes later, he was fully enjoying himself at a restaurant that offered a dog menu; he even got an adorable scarf to wear. People kept complimenting his beauty every few minutes; he made friends with small humans and calm, nonbarking doggies.
IDK what will happen if we ever really end up on a farm, but I’m pretty sure he’ll just supervise the other shepherds from the sofa with a dog beer. He got a little burger and an enormous pup cup, and watching him enjoy what was probably the greatest culinary experience of his life was lovely, but unfortunately, his digestive system had a very different opinion. The next day he started having diarrhea, and then he kept having diarrhea for an entire week.
If you’ve been paying attention, you know I tend to be a very anxious dog mom. When my dog experienced a single episode of diarrhea, it unexpectedly escalated into a comprehensive vet visit, involving blood work, stool tests, medications, probiotics, and extensive online research. It felt like an emergency to me, though, in truth, he was perfectly fine. Thankfully, everything came back reassuring, and he’s doing much better now. Since I tend to prepare for every possible apocalypse, I also stocked up on nearly every medication that might be useful, just in case it makes a comeback. So that adorable little burger and pup cup ended up costing me well over $600.
I have informed Eliott that, due to recent financial developments, future fine dining experiences have been permanently suspended. From now on, we’re returning to our regularly scheduled programming: his boring-but-perfect limited-ingredient, sensitive-stomach food.
Back in New York, the plan was to spend the day at Coney Island with my Hungarian girls, but Mother Nature seemed to have other plans.
The Canadian wildfires transformed the sky into a massive smoke cloud, accompanied by a heatwave. News reported a parasite found on lettuce, an outbreak of Legionnaires’ disease, and, to top it off, a flesh-eating bacteria warning in the waters near Coney Island. At that point we collectively decided that surviving felt slightly more important than tanning, so we postponed our beach day until after Armageddon, which, hopefully, is tonight.
Instead, I went to an event about the future of law in the age of AI, and I met an interesting guy I wanted to collaborate with. It quickly became apparent that he was significantly less interested in writing a book together than in what I wear to bed and underneath my Hello Kitty overalls. I made it very clear that this conversation had taken a turn I wasn’t interested in following, not in the polite, sugar-coated American way, but in the very direct, Hungarian way, so I have a feeling that collaboration has now reached its natural conclusion. No worries, the book is still happening; I’ll be working on it with someone who knows the difference between talking about chapters and talking about pajamas. 😉
Yesterday, I reconnected with my favorite NYC friend. Thankfully, he's adventurous enough to watch the Minions with me, so we stayed on the overall topic lol.
While I’ve been wandering around New York, my heart has been somewhere else.
Back in Hungary, residents are confronting a worsening energy crisis caused by an extreme heatwave and an unprecedented drought. The Danube's water levels have decreased so significantly that the Paks Nuclear Power Plant—the nation’s primary electricity provider—has been forced to lower production and could face a temporary shutdown. Authorities are calling on industries to reduce their electricity consumption, amid growing concerns about possible shortages and interruptions if the situation worsens.
Most of my family and many loved ones are there. Being far away is challenging enough, but knowing they face blackouts, extreme heat, and uncertainty makes it even harder. I stay tuned to the news, hoping for quick stabilization, and wish I could do more than just send messages asking, “Are you okay? Did you buy enough water?”
The most challenging aspect of establishing a life abroad isn’t missing home. It’s the helpless feeling of knowing that when home needs you, all you can do from across an ocean is worry and hope.
My heart is also in Ohio with CarGuy. I miss him greatly when we're apart, and he's my cuddling buddy for sleep, so without him, I feel increasingly exhausted each day. After PTSD nightmares, I often struggle to fall back asleep. Sometimes, I’m so frightened that I drink coffee to avoid falling asleep and experiencing another bad dream. When I’m with him, I usually wake up briefly, and he often wakes too, poor guy. However, he's able to soothe me, or I focus on his breathing, which naturally helps me drift back to sleep.
My heart is large, but juggling three places at once is challenging, even for me. I told a friend that I love New York and my busy, quirky, and exhausting life here, but I also love CarGuy AF. Occasionally, I feel capable of balancing both worlds again, as I did during the years split between Budapest and France. But I also remember how exhausting it was: with all the travel, the time felt lost on the road, and all the stuff I had to buy twice, because I insist on having my routines, but I can’t carry a vibration plate, an infrared light therapy machine, a regimen of skincare products, and the full Tracy Anderson Method workout equipment from here to there all the time. As my friend told me, at a point I “simply” will have to choose which one I love more. Thankfully, I’m not at that point just yet.
I finally checked puppy yoga off my New York bucket list, and I loved it. However, calling it yoga is a bit of a stretch. It was mostly an hour of being emotionally charmed by tiny dachshund puppies, with occasional reminders that you’re supposed to be holding a downward dog.If enlightenment comes in the shape of a sausage dog climbing into your lap, I’m willing to embrace the journey.
I also watched Disruption. Unfortunately, I can’t say I liked it, as it seemed like another fear-driven, AI-doom story crafted by those who don’t truly understand AI, its capabilities, limitations, or where its real boundaries are.
I support open conversations about artificial intelligence risks and dedicate much of my life to researching them. However, there’s a clear distinction between well-informed criticism and fear-mongering. I’m sure after a show like this, audiences unfamiliar with AI leave with a sense of apprehension rather than understanding.
Academically, things have been quiet on the surface; my supervisor disappeared on holiday, which means I’ve been left completely alone with my own brain, and that’s a dangerous place to leave me.
One of my dissertation projects is currently on hold because I need his approval before distributing the questionnaires. Unfortunately, all I can do now is wait, which isn't my strong suit. As any academically obsessed person might do, I started working on another paper-one we never even discussed. My plan is to subtly bring it up at our next lab meeting, pretending that working on, and nearly finishing, a new project while my supervisor is on vacation is completely normal.
Will he value my independence, or will he be upset that I started a new manuscript without his approval and lose his temper? With him, it could go either way. I’ve realized that predicting his reaction is just as uncertain as forecasting New York weather.
But listen. Both papers are genuinely exciting and explore important questions. They have the potential to improve medicine and healthcare. So, respectfully, regardless of his reaction this time, I can deal with it. 😇
Want to buy Eliott a treat now that he can eat normally again? HERE you can do so. Thank you.
Much love,
Nora and the pup
That was an interesting story. When do you get car guy back? Are you planning on making NYC a permanent residence? Upstate NY maybe a little out of your way, but it's a calmer and cleaner. I hope your papers get published and put to use. I'm sure you have some great advice.
Love all the stories!